


back again

by uhhuhhoney



Series: lucky [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Backstory, Barebacking, Bondage, Crying, Desperation, Dirty Talk, Face Slapping, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Rough Sex, please read the warning in the notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 02:12:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14606949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uhhuhhoney/pseuds/uhhuhhoney
Summary: Taeyong thinks back to earlier when he was mad at Johnny one minute and begging for his cock the next, and he wonders if Ten will give him his psychiatrist’s phone number.





	back again

**Author's Note:**

> i actually explain taeyong and johnny's relationship here so you all don't have to keep wondering
> 
>  **KINKS:** desperation, dirty talk, rough sex, bareback, crying, face slapping, bondage (tape), i didn't know how to tag this but johnny uses taeyong as a fucktoy and taeyong almost dies because it's so hot
> 
>  **WARNING:** EVERYTHING in this fic is consensual including the bondage, johnny ignoring taeyong's whining, etc. i tried my best to make it as obvious that taeyong loves it as i could but i thought i'd better put a warning anyway
> 
> also, i mention the last member of bloomy here... her name is [geonyoung](https://imgur.com/NKQMWUg) and i miss her so much. the girls will be included in later fics hehe

Taeyong doesn’t remember when it started.

Johnny remembers. Taeyong used to crawl into bed with him at night, drunk on Codeine for his chronic migraines, because the ceiling fan in his own room was broken when they moved into their apartment. It would get unbearably warm during the summer and Taeyong is sensitive when his head hurts. His last resort was stumbling into Johnny’s room with a palm against his forehead and leaning against the wall until Johnny (quietly) called for him to lie down.

Sharing his bed was only for Taeyong’s comfort, so Johnny kept a pillow between them as they slept, determined to never be too close in case touching Taeyong made his skin crawl. Taeyong had never expressed any need for intimacy when he wasn’t feeling well — at least, in the beginning.

After a while, Taeyong started asking Johnny to touch him, claiming that affection made him feel better. He would practically _purr_ under Johnny’s hands while he rubbed his neck and it wasn’t long before Taeyong was wrapped around him at night, whispering nonsense that Johnny wouldn’t be able to repeat if he tried.

It was always going on for too long, Taeyong mouthing insignificant words against Johnny’s neck, and Johnny quickly realized that the best way to get him to shut up would be kissing him. He pressed his lips to Taeyong’s and Taeyong fell pliant against him, letting Johnny control all of their kiss until he pulled away. The rest of the night was quiet and Taeyong held onto Johnny tighter than usual, scared to let go in case he decided to run away.

The weather got cooler after that, and Taeyong got Vicodin from Yuta, so they stopped sleeping together. Johnny started picking up night shifts. Taeyong would lie on the couch wearing Johnny’s hoodie and try to keep himself awake, but he would always be asleep when Johnny got home, not even waking up when the wind slammed the front door shut. Johnny would turn off the lamp and kiss Taeyong’s forehead before leaving for his own room.

There was a lull in the progression of their relationship. Johnny doesn’t even remember what they did for that entire month because it was so boring. It felt like forever until Taeyong sat on the couch with him one day and kissed him, careful and innocent, but Johnny had been so frustrated that he immediately pushed Taeyong onto his back and fucked his tongue into his mouth until he couldn’t breathe.

(Taeyong might have wrapped his legs around Johnny’s waist and rocked against him until they both came, but he always denies it. Whenever Johnny brings it up when they’re alone, he blushes and bats his eyes, silently begging to be called a whore.)

The first time they actually fucked was revolutionary. It’d never been a secret to Johnny that Taeyong is freaky, but he normally avoided those conversations while sober, mostly out of respect for Taeyong’s dignity. Being roommates meant respecting those boundaries. When they got into Taeyong’s bed that night, though, it was like Johnny’s eyes had opened for the very first time.

Taeyong was _pornographic_ , writhing on dirty sheets and begging Johnny to spit in his mouth, choke him, hold him down, cum inside. It was something different every minute, and Johnny was trying not to get whiplash while he pressed finger-shaped bruises into Taeyong’s hips and fucked him raw. He thought it’d be a bad idea doing it in Taeyong’s room, the ceiling fan still useless, but Taeyong insisted, and Johnny couldn’t understand why until Taeyong was licking the sweat off of his neck.

It was the first time he ever came from being inside someone instead of having to pull out and jerk himself off. It also wouldn’t be the last time, evidently, because Taeyong was back to rutting against him on the couch the next day and Johnny is only so strong.

That was it, though. Taeyong doesn’t like getting attached to people and he never liked Johnny like _that_ anyway, so they barely had to talk about it. Their sex was intimate, but it was also fun, and Johnny having sex with his best friend meant he could laugh through awkward moments and not have to worry about impressing someone. It was ideal for the time.

Ten changed that. Ten changed everything. If Taeyong had opened Johnny’s eyes, Ten changed his vision from black-and-white to color. It was embarrassing how quickly they became obsessed with each other, and Johnny remembered that he loves romance. Their dates went from casual (getting milkshakes at McDonald’s and making out in Johnny’s car) to elaborate (buying vouchers for iFly weeks in advance) and Ten ate up the attention, so Johnny kept dishing out more.

It didn’t make Taeyong angry. He hardly even cared until he found out how kinky Ten was, and then he was just frustrated. Hookups are boring because asking strangers to choke him is obviously a bad idea, and it was hard for the only other friend who would fuck him good (Yuta) to make time to see him. Johnny became more and more distant, which meant Taeyong’s only outlet for actually satisfying sex was gone. All he could do was tell Ten to follow him on Tumblr and pray that he, for whatever reason, brings up the idea of a threesome.

One week later, Taeyong found himself rocking down onto Ten’s cock and licking into his mouth while Johnny fucked Ten open behind him. It was really just lucky.

“We can try it” became “let’s do it again” and Taeyong was overjoyed. Ten being versatile makes Taeyong the official bottom, so their dynamic is perfect. Johnny trying desperately to keep up with them only makes it more fun.

It wasn’t very long until Ten started coming over when he knew Johnny was at work, spitting liquor into Taeyong’s mouth and whispering disgusting things to him until he came all over himself. There are things they like that Johnny won’t even entertain, so he wasn’t surprised when he came home to Ten and Taeyong wrapped around each other in his bed.

Taeyong realized how much he needed someone to be _his_ after Johnny started gushing about how much he loves Ten. Meeting people has never been his strong suit, and he strongly believes that dating apps are the worst invention in the world, so his options were limited. Having Ten fuck his migraines away was good (great, actually) but no longer enough. He threw himself into working on music and promised himself that if the universe wanted him to be with someone, it would send them to him.

The universe came through when Jaehyun showed up at his door. They’d never met before, but Ten was always showing Taeyong pictures of him and reminding him that he was single. Taeyong never thought to actually go out with Jaehyun, or even follow him on Twitter. That night was a miracle.

It’s been a month now, maybe less, and Taeyong doesn’t know where he stands with Jaehyun. Their sex has been great and Taeyong likes him, he honestly does, but he’s unreasonably terrified of commitment. Ten will have to push him to actually ask Jaehyun if they should label themselves or not. It’s not like he’s in a rush, but it’d be good to know if Jaehyun wants him to stop fooling around with other people.

Taeyong misses when things weren’t complicated, when Johnny would just drag him into bed and fuck him silly without having to worry about anything. It seems so selfish of him to just disregard Ten’s existence like that, but he’s always been pretty apathetic. Maybe he should just go back to school, get a bachelor’s degree, and move somewhere far away from Maryland. Seoyeon used to talk about moving to Seattle.

He doesn’t bother looking up from his computer when Johnny walks in. He’s in a bad mood. “Hey,” his roommate says, taking his time to hang up his jacket and put his shoes in the bottom of the closet. Taeyong suddenly wishes he had his headphones on, so he could at least look busy. The couch dips under him when Johnny sits down. “Bad day?” he asks, annoyingly intuitive.

“I put myself in a bad mood and I decided it’s your fault,” Taeyong says. He doesn’t see Johnny’s grin, but he can feel it.

“Come here,” Johnny says, and Taeyong turns to look at him so fast that his head starts to swim. Johnny is patting his thigh, like what he meant wasn’t obvious before. Taeyong stares at him for a long moment, but he doesn’t say anything else.

The only conclusion Taeyong can come to is that Ten decided to hook up with someone that isn’t them and Johnny needs something ( _someone_ ) else to do. Their relationship is weird. He blinks and looks back at his laptop to make sure nothing important is open before shutting it and moving it to the coffee table. He has no self-control.

They’re both quiet as Taeyong moves to straddle Johnny’s thighs, but Johnny is clearly checking him out. Taeyong is sure that his sweatpants and old t-shirt are _very_ flattering. He doesn’t even meet Taeyong’s eyes until after he’s sitting back on his knees. “Did I shock you?” Johnny asks, his hands flying up to rub Taeyong’s thighs.

“Well,” Taeyong starts, annoyed with how close Johnny’s hands are to his dick. “You came home from a date with your boyfriend and asked me to sit on your lap, so I’m a little skeptical of what’s going through your mind.”

Johnny breathes out a laugh. “I’m not trolling, I swear,” he says, and the use of that word almost makes Taeyong smile. He’s picking up Ten and Geonyoung’s lingo. “I know you’re stressed out. You know I can help you.”

His hands move from Taeyong’s thighs to his hips and Taeyong makes an embarrassing noise low in his throat. It’s stupid how desperate he can get just from a few words, but he’s sexually frustrated. He squirms on Johnny’s lap, trying to figure out what to do with himself, but it only has Johnny pushing his hands underneath his shirt. “Did Ten cancel or something?” he asks, Johnny rolling his eyes in response.

“He finally got Jaehyun to break,” Johnny says. Taeyong chews on his bottom lip and tries not to imagine Jaehyun holding Ten down and making him take it, but he can’t help himself. Johnny starts to palm at his cock through his sweatpants and Taeyong whimpers, reaching down to cover Johnny’s hand with his own to keep it there. “God, Tae,” Johnny whispers as Taeyong rolls his hips forward. “Look how fucking slutty you get for me.”

Taeyong breathes out shakily. He hadn’t forgotten how good Johnny makes him feel — how could he? Johnny spent months tracing his features with his tongue, learning how to properly indulge in all of his kinks, pressing into exactly where Taeyong needed him. Their threesomes with Ten are good, but they don’t give Johnny a chance to make Taeyong unravel underneath him. Taeyong tends to be self-centered when it comes to sex.

He grinds against Johnny’s hand until he’s completely hard. It’s a little humiliating how Johnny can make him writhe on his lap by basically doing nothing. “Please,” Taeyong whispers, leaning forward to put his hand on the back of Johnny’s neck, their lips inches apart. “ _Please_ tell me you’ll fuck me.”

Johnny responds by pulling him in closer and kissing him. Taeyong cards his fingers through his hair and pulls, Johnny moaning into his mouth. He missed this, he missed this so much, and Johnny’s hands on his back have him lighting up. It’s like Taeyong can’t get close enough to him, his arms winding around Johnny’s shoulders, and he completely forgets that he’s achingly hard until Johnny shoves his hand into his pants and starts stroking his cock.

Wasn’t he mad just a few minutes ago? Taeyong promises himself that he’ll figure out the logistics of his priorities later and pulls Johnny’s head into the crook of his neck. He tilts his head back and fucks into Johnny’s hand, moaning breathily.

He needs more, needs Johnny to take care of him. He’s about to beg for it when Johnny starts sucking on his earlobe and Taeyong’s words die in his throat. “Let me take you to bed,” Johnny mumbles, his hands sliding underneath his thighs, and Taeyong almost cums right then and there. He lets Johnny pick him up and wraps his legs around his waist.

The floor of Johnny’s room is covered with clothes, most of which are Ten’s, and Taeyong is violently reminded that Jaehyun and Ten are definitely fucking right now. He doesn’t have time to actually think about it, because as soon as he hits the bed, Johnny is pulling his sweatpants off. Taeyong’s mind goes blank when Johnny kneels between his legs and starts kissing over his hips.

“How do you want it?” Johnny asks, his breath hot over Taeyong’s skin, and Taeyong whines when he looks down at him. Johnny leans in closer and slides his hands under Taeyong’s shirt to push it up. “Tell me, sweetheart,” he says quietly, and Taeyong can feel his face go red when their eyes meet.

“Just like this,” he says, Johnny leaving wet kisses on his chest. Taeyong’s eyes roll back when Johnny drags his tongue over one of his nipples, and he can hear him laugh quietly when he arches his back off of the bed. Johnny’s hands move to his back and he keeps him close while he teases him. “God, please take your fucking clothes off,” Taeyong begs, tugging at the collar of Johnny’s shirt eagerly.

His vision goes black for a second when Johnny smacks him. He can’t even stop himself from moaning at the pain, his cheek stinging in the aftermath of it. “Language,” Johnny says, and Taeyong needs him so badly, he might die if Johnny doesn’t fuck him soon. He doesn’t care that he’s overdramatic. He whines in objection when Johnny suddenly leaves the bed. “Stay right here.”

Taeyong freezes, watching silently as Johnny leaves the room. He almost thinks that he won’t come back immediately, will make him lie there alone because Johnny _knows_ he won’t touch himself without permission, but then Taeyong can hear him digging around in his bedside table drawer and he relaxes.

When he comes back, he’s holding a roll of tape, and Taeyong’s skin starts to hum in anticipation. “It’s been a while,” Johnny says, kneeling next to him on the bed. Taeyong folds his hands and rests them on his stomach, Johnny grinning down at him as he peels the tape back. “Is it gonna be like this tonight?” he asks.

Taeyong rolls his eyes while Johnny wraps hot pink (courtesy of Seoyeon) bondage tape around his wrists. “Do my mouth,” he says, and Johnny only stares at him after he tightens the tape. Taeyong pouts. “Please.”

“I mean,” Johnny starts, reaching down to lift Taeyong’s head from the pillow. “That’s why I got this and not just cuffs.”

It takes a minute for Johnny to wrap the tape around his head, but when he’s done, Taeyong is even harder than he was before. The tape is too tight for him to open his mouth or move his wrists, and it’s slightly uncomfortable, but that’s the way he likes it. Johnny digs around for lube in his nightstand drawer before climbing back onto the bed and settling between Taeyong’s legs.

“Look at you,” he says, breathless with want, and if Taeyong wasn’t blushing before, he certainly is now. He just wishes he’d told Johnny to hurry up when he could still talk, because Johnny is taking his sweet time biting hickeys into his inner thighs and it’s nice and relaxing but Taeyong _needs_ to be filled. He tries to steady his breathing, swallowing the quiet noises he would usually make while Johnny sucks on his pale skin.

His contentment dissolves when Johnny grabs one of the spare pillows on the bed. Taeyong lifts his hips up and Johnny guides the pillow underneath him, helping him adjust his legs so that his knees are in the air. “Wait,” Johnny says, so Taeyong does, his eyes widening when he sees him pick up the roll of tape again.

It takes all of two minutes for him to fasten tape around Taeyong’s legs, his calves pressed back to his thighs, and then Taeyong realizes that he can hardly move at all. He’s completely spread open and helpless, and even though he can see what Johnny’s doing, the feeling of not being able to do anything about it makes him shiver. It’s much better than being blindfolded and having a panic attack.

Johnny pours lube over his fingers while Taeyong is spacing out. “Stay with me, sweetheart,” he says, rubbing his finger over Taeyong’s rim, and Taeyong’s hips stutter as he looks back down at Johnny. He wants to be upset that Johnny still has clothes on, but being naked and completely vulnerable like this while Johnny is fully clothed makes his cock throb. The noise he makes comes out strangled when Johnny pushes his finger into his hole.

Taeyong is _unbelievably_ glad that he isn’t going slow anymore. Johnny fucks him with his finger until he’s relaxed around him, and then he pushes a second finger in, not caring enough to try finding his prostate. Taeyong sighs and rolls his hips down against Johnny’s hand when he starts scissoring his fingers.

“I love you like this,” Johnny says, and Taeyong lets his eyes fall shut. He’s obsessed with Johnny talking dirty to him, because Johnny is normally so level-headed, and there’s something sexy about being able to hear his unfiltered thoughts. “You’re spread open like a whore and you don’t even care. You just want my cock so bad, don’t you?”

Taeyong nods, wants to scream _I’ve wanted your cock for half a fucking hour now_ , but he can’t even be a brat like that and it makes Johnny smirk at him. “You’re mad,” he says, pulling his fingers out of Taeyong’s hole. Taeyong rolls his eyes. “You were being such a good boy a few minutes ago. What happened?”

Stupid question. Johnny knows that Taeyong is an emotional rollercoaster no matter the situation he’s in. Taeyong thinks back to earlier when he was mad at Johnny one minute and begging for his cock the next, and he wonders if Ten will give him his psychiatrist’s phone number.

Johnny finally undoes his pants and Taeyong can hardly stop himself from drooling. He really is expecting Johnny to take all of his clothes off, but he only pulls his cock out of his pants, pouring lube into his palm before he jerks himself off. Taeyong _knows_ that he knows what this entire situation is doing to him. It’s both hot and infuriating.

He can’t stay angry for long, though, because as soon as Johnny pushes into him, he’s fucking melting into the bed. Johnny leans over him when he bottoms out and pushes his hair out of his face. Taeyong fights the tape around his wrists, but it doesn’t budge. “My pretty fucktoy,” Johnny says, and then he presses a kiss to the tape around Taeyong’s face, _right_ where his mouth is, and Taeyong’s stomach flips.

Johnny grips the headboard when he starts fucking him, pounding into him hard right from the beginning, and Taeyong makes a mental note to never get mad at him ever again. His head falls back and he rocks his hips in time with Johnny’s thrusts, unable to stay still. Not being able to beg or moan Johnny’s name makes something build up in his chest, and he can’t figure out what emotion he’s actually feeling until tears start running down his cheeks.

“Baby,” Johnny breathes out, moving his hands to either side of Taeyong’s face. Taeyong doesn’t understand how it’s possible for him to be so sweet when he’s literally wrecking his asshole. “Is it too much? Does it hurt?”

The fact that Johnny doesn’t bother slowing down or stopping when he asks that makes Taeyong whimper. He shakes his head and Johnny reaches down to grab his hips so he can fuck him harder.

Johnny groans and Taeyong can tell that he’s losing himself in the feeling by the way he keeps his eyes shut, noises that he would normally hold back filling the room. He’s using Taeyong for his own pleasure, his thrusts messy and sporadic as he does whatever feels good, not even bothering to touch Taeyong’s cock in attempt to make him cum. Taeyong can hardly keep himself together as it is, but when it hits him that Johnny really has him tied up and gagged so that he can’t do anything to get himself off, he swears he loses his mind.

“Fucking perfect like this,” Johnny says, his hair falling into his face when he looks down at Taeyong. Taeyong wants to reach up and push it back for him. “You’re gonna make me cum so hard, Tae, your hole feels so good.” He moves his hands to Taeyong’s legs and pushes them back until his thighs are pressed against his chest, and the angle has Johnny moaning while he chases his orgasm.

Taeyong’s muscles are screaming and he’s so desperate for _any_ type of friction on his cock, he would settle for rutting against Johnny’s stomach at this point. The pleasure is trapped in his body and he can’t do anything to let it out, can’t even ask Johnny to help him, and it’s building up into pain as he realizes Johnny is going to cum inside him. Taeyong squirms on the sheets and forces noises out of his throat, trying desperately to get Johnny to jerk him off, but Johnny doesn’t care.

That fucks him up — having Johnny, the sweetest person he knows, blatantly ignore his distress and use his body for self-satisfaction. Taeyong _loves_ feeling like a slut, loves knowing that he can make people feel good by doing nothing, loves when someone uses him for their own pleasure even if he’s suffering. It’s nasty and dangerous and it makes Taeyong throb with anticipation. Having Johnny give in to his urges and fuck him like that is mind-numbing.

Johnny doesn’t even warn him before he cums, his thrusts turning sloppy again as he fucks Taeyong through his own orgasm. “Fuck,” he groans, pushing hair out of his sweaty face, and Taeyong feels more tears slide down his cheeks. Johnny has to steady his breathing before he meets Taeyong’s gaze, and he leans forward to wipe the tears out of his eyes. “Why are you crying, baby?” he asks, so unbelievably sexy for no reason. “You made me cum, isn’t that what you wanted?”

Jesus Christ, Taeyong is going to _kill_ him when he can. He whimpers helplessly when Johnny pulls out, the feeling of his cum dripping out of his hole only pushing him further to the edge. Johnny pulls his pants back up before moving to kneel beside him on the bed, and Taeyong leans into his touch when Johnny puts his hand on the side of his face. “Relax for me,” he says, and then he’s pulling the bondage tape off of Taeyong’s face and letting it slip down to sit around his neck.

“Johnny,” Taeyong whines, sounding embarrassingly wrecked. Johnny cups his face sweetly and kisses him, and it comforts Taeyong almost instantly. He lets Johnny lick into his mouth and rub his shoulders, the affection making his toes curl into the sheets.

Johnny pulls away to wrap his hand around Taeyong’s cock, and Taeyong nearly bursts, his entire body tensing up all at once. “Slow,” Johnny murmurs, stroking him gently, but Taeyong’s hips won’t stay still. He breathes out desperate noises and chases Johnny’s hand, and it only takes a few moments for Johnny to give up on calming him down. Taeyong nearly screams when Johnny starts jerking him off faster, so high-strung that his entire body vibrates, and he’s cumming seconds after Johnny rubs his thumb over the head of his cock.

His orgasm _hurts_ but Johnny is right there to whisper praises into his ear, so Taeyong is completely fine with it. He takes deep breaths while Johnny pulls the tape off of him and immediately stretches his legs when he finally can. “Shit,” he mumbles, rubbing his wrists, and Johnny pulls the pillow out from under him.

“You’re feeling okay?” Johnny asks, throwing the pillow onto the floor. Taeyong hums and looks up at him through his eyelashes, hardly able to keep his eyes open. Johnny tries fighting his smile, but Taeyong sees it anyway. “Can you shower?”

“With you,” Taeyong answers.

* * *

It’s much later when they’re on the couch together, Taeyong eating cereal like it’s his life force, Johnny texting Ten about their individual hookups. Stranger Things is playing on the television, but it’s become their official Background Noise Show, what they put on whenever they want to not-watch something.

“Remember the foursome idea?” Johnny randomly asks. Taeyong just looks over at him and continues chewing, gesturing for him to continue with whatever he wants to say. “What if it was more than just that?”

Taeyong swallows. “I don’t know if I like Ten enough to date him,” he says.

Johnny laughs, then sets his phone down and leans back on the couch, rubbing his eyes. “He might be insane,” he says, and Taeyong nods in agreement, even though Johnny isn’t looking at him. “But he also might have a point, you know?”

“If you’re saying you have a crush on me, we need to have a long talk,” Taeyong says.

There’s a moment of silence where Johnny looks over, and Taeyong swears his heart stops. He busies himself by shoving the last spoonful of cereal into his mouth and putting his bowl on the coffee table, but when he looks back over, Johnny is still looking at him. “Would it be that crazy if we were together?” he asks, sounding completely genuine.

Taeyong is going to kill himself if Johnny has had a crush on him for this entire time and he had no idea. It doesn’t even seem logical, because Taeyong _knows_ Johnny and he knows that Johnny would’ve told him by now. He could even argue that he’s dating Ten, so obviously he wouldn’t have feelings for someone else, but that seems invalid now.

He rubs at his neck uncertainly while he thinks. “I don’t really care,” he says, purposely ignoring Johnny’s confused look. “We could all be together. If you guys wanted that.”

Johnny picks his phone back up. “Let’s talk about it later,” he says.

Taeyong remembers that he needs to text Jaehyun. It’d probably be a good idea to ask him about all of this first. “We can go over there tomorrow,” he says, and Johnny nods, deep in thought while he types out a text. Taeyong stands up and grabs his bowl from the coffee table. “I wouldn’t hate calling you my boyfriend,” he says, refusing to look back at Johnny while he leaves the room.

“We have to make sure Jaehyun won’t kill me first,” Johnny calls after him. Taeyong laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you guys so much for your comments, i'm literally in awe that so many people are loving this series lol
> 
> i had a little trouble describing the taping parts so i hope it all makes sense
> 
> if you see this, let me know what other NCT pairings you would want to see, and also let me know if you'd be interested in seeing any of them with the girls i've mentioned because i'm down for that as well


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